Starting Life Over

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Truth April 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — erie3746 @ 9:39 am
HPIM0100 by erie3746
HPIM0100, a photo by erie3746 on Flickr.

Okay, I’m crazy, I admit it. I’ve always admitted it. But sometimes this is all I see of myself, so today I’m going to share some of my “Truth’s about Erin”. I wrote this in a journal a few years back and when I need a reminder I just go to it. So here goes:

1) I am enough, just the way I am, I am enough.

2) I am loved by a multitude of family and friends who wish the best for me everyday.

3) I was created just the way I am on purpose by a creator who could’ve made anyone but chose to make me.

4) I am talented.  I was given many gifts in order to give glory to God which are all my own.

5) I am creative.  I can make beautiful creations out of the simplest materials.

6) I am a wonderful singer.  My voice has moved many people’s emotions.

7) I am a very loving person.  I have shown my love to many people.

8 ) I am very devoted and loyal.  I have stood by people many times when others thought they were beyond saving.

9) I always see the best in every person even when others give up on them.

10) I would rather die than see someone else suffer, whether I know them or not.

11) I am a very compassionate person, I try to fulfill others needs before my own.

12) I was an answer to a specific prayer by my mother.

13) I am a great researcher.  If I am curious about something I will hunt until I find everything I can about the subject.

14) I am dependable.  If I promise I will do something, I always come through.

15) I am very sentimental.  I am always surrounded by pictures and memorabilia from my past.


Reading April 18, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — erie3746 @ 6:27 am
HPIM0096 by erie3746
HPIM0096, a photo by erie3746 on Flickr.

Can one study too much? I think I did. I got burnt out, and on top of that I was taking some new medicine that was for sleeping and it made me sleep like 18 hrs at a time. That didn’t help, because everytime I started reading I couldn’t concentrate and I fell asleep, even if I was just sitting at my desk. So for the past couple of weeks, I’ve just been reading what I feel like. I haven’t got much accomplish, but I think i’ll do better now that i’ve stopped taking the medicine. Oh Well.


True Love April 11, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — erie3746 @ 5:47 am
HPIM0181 (2) by erie3746
HPIM0181 (2), a photo by erie3746 on Flickr.

God as a Lover…it’s a foreign concept to me.  I’ve been thinking about it lately though.  Emily said to me the other day “Do you think you don’t see God as a lover because you are looking for it from others?”.  I’ve been running this over and over in my mind the past couple of days and I really think she is right.  I see some aspects of God but some aspects elude me.

My mom told me the other day about my grandmother (who has severe dementia from Alzheimer’s) who was singing and dancing making up her own lyrics to music in her head.  “My God is coming to take my home, my God loves me and is going to take me home.”  She has always been a simple childlike person in her faith and parts of me envy that.  God gave me my inquisitive mind and it’s my greatest blessing and also my greatest curse.  I can’t sing and dance when I tend to have so many questions on my mind.  Why did God make me the way I am?

I look for love in the wrong types of places and even when I look for love in the right places, I find I am not worthy.  I told Emily that was probably why I loved talking to people on the internet.  (1) I tend to shy away from girls because they scare the hell out of me and (2) I’m a totally awesome person one a guy gets to know me and they want to be friends with me if they get past the way I look first.  I think I am so ugly that no one would want to talk to me unless they got to know me first.  The only people who look past my physical appearance are the people who go to church with me.  And even then, I have disappointments.  The biggest one came a while back when a guy I had shown interest in and tried to get some alone time with asked me to “hook him up” with a girl I walked in with who was hot after only seeing her.  His shallowness in that situation was such a turn off I stopped pursuing him.

Mom asked if I saw people I thought were physically uglier than I was in happy relationships, like did I see there was hope for someone out there for me.  I thought and thought about it, but I can’t see anyone.  I can see people I think have worse personalities than me in relationships, but usually those are so screwed up I wouldn’t want them anyways, but I can’t say that I see people that I think are worse looking than me.  I think this says more about the way I see myself that what type of people are out there.

Emily pointed out that we are bound by our culture, and our culture puts a high value on things that I don’t tend to value like physical beauty and shallowness.  In a world where “niceness” is considered “naive” and success determines how far you will go, I just don’t see myself has having any redeemable qualities.  In the “pro and con” columns of Erin, the cons definitely outweigh the pros because the pros aren’t even really valuable to the average person.  As I told Ken one day…I have nothing to offer.  So does that mean I am doomed to a life with no meaningful relationships?

Maybe one day someone can tell me they want to “climb my pineapple tree” (by the way love that verse in Song of Solomon) and I can believe them.  As for now, I go on wondering if True Love is even out there for me.


Finish It Friday November 18, 2010

Filed under: Finish It Friday — erie3746 @ 6:45 pm


Originally uploaded by erie3746

Okay, so I’ve played hooky for a couple of weeks of writing, but I’m back at it today with tomorrow’s Finish It list. Tomorrow I will be packing a little during the evening so I decided to put it up today and work on some tonight. I’ve been slowly working away at my 2010 BAMCAL squares and I finally finished my butterfly blanket (in pic)…not what to do with it…hmmm.

What I’m Working On:

Recycled Pink Scarf
Double Knitted Potholders
2010 BAMCAL Squares

What I’m Watching:

Modern Family
Cougar Town
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 2)

What I’m Doing This Weekend:



Little Green Frog October 16, 2010

Filed under: Finish It Friday — erie3746 @ 11:36 am

Little Green Frog

Originally uploaded by erie3746

Finish it Friday got off to a bad start this week when I slept half the day, so I decided to Finish it Saturday. And Look – Finally put my feet on my frog. This week I have ripped out my sock and my vintage scarf. The socks didn’t fit and the scarf was way too bulky. So here’s the new list

What I’m Working On:

Recycled Pink Scarf
Butterfly Blanket
CIA Quilt
Make-up Case

What I’m Watching:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 2)

What I’m Doing This Weekend:

Water’s Edge World Missions Bonanzapalooza


Finish It Friday October 8, 2010

Filed under: Finish It Friday — erie3746 @ 11:51 am

I need to start up my blog again and what could be a better way then to start a new section.  Finish it Friday!  Lots of people in the crafting world do a finish it Friday in some sort of way.  The last couple of weeks I have tried to get some projects complete by finishing them on Friday (or Thursday that one week – hehe).  So here it is.

What I’m Working On:

Jessica’s I-Cords for the Wedding

Holy Socks

Recycled Pink Scarf

Recycled Vintage Scarf

Butterfly Blanket

Little Green Frog

CIA Quilt

Make-up Case

What I’m Watching:

Lie To Me

The Event

Hidden Potential

What I’m Doing This Weekend:

Water’s Edge goes to the Fair (maybe)

Nanny & Papa’s

Date with Paul


Socks!! March 23, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — erie3746 @ 1:24 pm

First Socks

Originally uploaded by erie3746

I’ve started on my first socks ever. I went over to the Yarn Garden and picked up a needle and casted on, only to realize when I got to the gusset that I hated it. So I ripped it out and started over. This try works so much better for me, and as you can see I’m almost to the toe. It’s a combination of a couple of patterns, so check out my Ravelry page to find out more.